Unfinished Business with My Bathroom Scale

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"It’s really important to stay enthused and in touch with the world. Apart from anything else, it makes life more enjoyable. Cynicism is a recipe for misery. Curiosity is a recipe for excitement."

~ Michael Caine, Unfinished Business

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My love of food and a certain talent for mindless eating has resulted in my gaining weight. I have beautiful clothes hanging in my closet that no longer fit, and I’ve become self-conscious about sleeveless tops. My upper arms seem to have developed their own ideas about where they should hang.

Sometimes I’m so busy wondering whether I should or shouldn’t eat something that I forget to actually taste the food! Other times, I eat while typing, reading, or watching a movie.

Apparently, I’ve been expecting my mouth to do its job while the rest of me attends a

completely different meeting.

I want to change that. But I don’t want to spend the rest of my life counting calories, avoiding foods I love, or looking at my body through what I call my “fat eyes.” Instead, I want to pay attention to what I’m eating, when I’m eating, and how I’m eating. I want

to slow down enough to taste and enjoy my food instead of treating eating like something

squeezed between emails.

And I need to remember that being well is not the same thing as being thin. I can be healthy

and happy even if my upper arms sag and my waistline is bigger than I’d like.

There are important things about me that cannot be weighed or measured. So, along with

stepping on the bathroom scale each morning, I’m going to look in the mirror with my heart

instead of my “fat eyes” and say:

I see myself trying hard to do my best.

I see wonder and possibility in my eyes.

I see a beautiful soul.

The scale can tell me how much I weigh. It cannot tell me how much I love, how much I laugh, how many stories I carry, or how much life I still want to experience.

I want to focus on emotional wellness more than physical weight.

Instead of eating hot fudge sundaes, I want my life to be a hot fudge sundae.

I want Wonder. Delight. Passion. Laughter. Connection. I want to wake up curious about what

the day might bring.

Thinness is often presented as the supposed currency of happiness in our culture. But if

thinness guaranteed happiness, the tabloids would be filled with blissful celebrities floating

around on clouds of contentment.

It has never been true that the value of a human spirit depends on a number on a scale.

We are unique beings of light who happen to need physical vehicles to get around. Some

vehicles are sleek. Some are roomy. Some have a few dents. Some have accumulated extra

padding in the upholstery.

But the vehicle is not the traveler. Worth cannot be measured in pounds.

Still, I have to admit that my vague good intentions this summer haven’t exactly set the scale on fire. Apparently, “I should probably eat better and exercise more” is not a particularly effective action plan.

So, I need a map. My daily TO-DO LIST now includes specific, doable actions:

• Drink two 8-ounce glasses of water first thing in the morning.

• Ride my tricycle at least one mile.

• Lift my 5-pound weights for 10 minutes.

• Use my grip-strengthener 30 times with each hand.

• Limit desserts and dark chocolate to weekends.

• Take the stairs whenever I can.

  
  

None of these things is heroic. But small actions, repeated consistently, can create big changes.

And I’m going to celebrate those changes along the way. At five pounds, ten, fifteen, twenty, I’ll reward myself with something wonderful that doesn’t contain calories - a new book, a massage, a workshop, a trip, or something beautiful to wear.

Maybe, eventually, one of those beautiful outfits hanging in my closet will get another chance at life.

I will create a healthier, happier life one small choice at a time. I’m going to stay curious about my body, my habits, and what makes me feel alive.

Because I have no intention of simply weighing less and becoming smaller.

I want to become more alive. More wonder. More laughter. More stories. More tricycle rides.

More dancing. More singing.

And that, my friends, is the unfinished business I’m most interested in. So the bathroom scale can have its number.

I’ve got a life to live, and it’s going to be one heck of a hot fudge sundae.